Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Promotions, Opinions & ETC “Oh no, not again!” One Man’s Pursuit to Detest The whole thing

In my pretext as a specialized self-employed writer who is, at present, producing his 1st full-length novel (cheap plug!), I requested of my favorite client we diversify out a bit from tech news/reviews and into more media, arts and entertainment areas. He was willing to help and cordial enough to offer the crazy idea a go and I set about cobbling together some movie and music evaluations.

This was when it hit me; We have no idea what is hot, who’s doing it, or why I should care!

A decade ago, when I was a film student, I might have told you who the cinematographer was on even various obscure, little-seen indie flick. Heck, I could probably have taken a guess as to who delivered him his morning coffee on the shoot, but today I am afraid I have no idea at all.

It is not totally my blunder. Having graduated from University a few years ago and moved out of my parent’s home soon after that, my long-suffering girlfriend and I haven’t exactly been rolling in cash. I selected what I could by doing extra articles (and sometimes cleaning homes) and shopped a children’s book around the publishers (with less than even a polite whiff of notice, it should be said). She eventually landed a fairly good job and simultaneously my fortunes enhanced a little, but modern culture passed us by while we were busy doing our weekly shopping using a calculator and developing one more hundred and 50 uses for tinned meat.

Its amusing, I always wondered why my Dad’s record set totally ceases to progress further sometime inside the late 1970’s and does not pick up again until a small collection of (franky terrible) ‘Trashed/Mashed/Bashed/Crashed (delete as applicable) in Ibiza’ CDs in the 1990’s. Well, now I know. It is a gap in the fossil record of popular culture; it is, fundamentally, a record of the cash-induced cultural extinction occasion that occurred at more-or-less exactly the same time he moved out with my Mum.

So, with that in mind, I made a decision to take a look at what was around at the moment by viewing what was trending on Amazon, in the hopes that there may be something I could talk about with some conviction.

Now, I do not want this article to read like an appendix to ‘is it just me or is the lot shit?’ crossed with an episode of ‘Grumpy Old Men’ (even through I know full-well that its gonna), but there isn’t a great deal of stuff that I can even relate to, much less get excited about.

For me, it’s a case of ‘seen it’ roughly every time. Sure, the films probably only been released last week, but I read the novel that inspired the screenplay when I used to be at Uni, or I saw the little known French film it had been according to whilst studying at college.

Oh, this band are a bit like an updated version of (evoke holy name of a divine 70’s punk/New Wave act here), except for they lack the invention, the innovation and the talent that made the originals great. In another occasion, I would have ideas and opinions to express about the pop music of nowadays, but now I cannot even name the celebrities so that you can slag them off.

‘If you prefer that, you will love this!’ No, I won’t Amazon. And don’t think I don’t see what you are trying to do, you sneaky bastards…

Oh, this Television show is about a teenage vampire, well, that’s novel, particularly bearing in mind that it wasn’t even unique when ‘Twilight’ did it (Sheesh, it was not even unique when ‘Buffy’ was doing it).

Oh, this bestselling book series is fanfic according to that other book? What? I’m sorry, WHAT!?

…Since when was ‘find/replace’ a lucrative model?

(Sigh) Since now, I suppose.

If there is a time to all this bitter and twisted ranting (and remember, I said ‘if), it’s that I am getting old and that this is cheaper than treatment. If there is an alternative, perhaps more prominent point, its that you must perhaps scrape together a bit of cash, go check out Amazon’s most up-to-date hit lists and purchase something, if barely to keep from ending up like me. Here, I will even link it for you.

So, in the long run, if my own (hypothetical) son or daughter flicks through my CDs/DVDs and asks why the newest albums are (disgracefully) ‘Noctourniquet’ by The Mars Volta (2012) ‘Brothers’ by The Black Keys (2010), ‘Only Revolutions’ by Biffy Clyro (2009), & Q-Tip’s ‘The Renaissance’ (2008), I’ll just reminisce and say “you will see” and leave it at that.

You’ll see. Just see if you don’t.

Promotions, Opinions & ETC “Oh no, not again!” One Man’s Pursuit to Detest The whole thing

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